You saved yourself again.
You almost drowned, but in the end, you swam.
You pulled yourself out before the murk closed in.
Though it hurt a lot, you found your strength.
When the breaking begins again, you will find your footing and move ahead.
Your heart may be weary, but you will find your strength.
Your faith holds you. You are well.
In 2020, the days felt endless, as if they somehow merged into one. I sometimes would wake up and not recognize myself or even know what day it was. Where did the day go? Where did I go? I felt like I was losing myself, and fear tried to consume me. It was a challenging time for several reasons, primarily because of the global pandemic that blindsided and stormed us worldwide. Although the pandemic has not come to an end, the internal fear has been weakening. It feels like I am stepping out of a shadow, even though it still lingers. When I wake up in the mornings, I do my best to remember, ‘Today is a new day, and make each day a life.’
I am still here, hanging on, and powerful. Love surrounds me and carries me forward. I know now more than ever, the bottom does not mean it’s the end. It’s the beginning of something new, a new path, a new story, a new season ahead.
It’s okay to not be okay. I say that over and over again.
But what does ‘Okay’ feel like?
Perhaps my conception of ‘okay’ is tainted by what the world has told me is ‘okay.’
What if ‘okay’ is this moment?
What if ‘okay’ is not even relevant?
The only thing that is real is here. It is this moment. It is the breath that I am breathing and, it is the sounds that I hear. It is everything that surrounds me.
It is my body.
It is my health.
It is my hands and legs.
It is the moment.
It is the lake that is near me.
It is the lake that can swallow me at any moment if it chooses.
It is the lake.
It is not the thought of the lake swallowing me up.
It is not the thoughts.
It is the moment.
It is the life that I have.
It is the people in my life.
I am here.
I am here even when my mind thinks I am gone. I am here.
I am here.
And You are here.
You are hope.
You are light.
You are a reflection of God’s beautiful love.
You are strong.
You are intelligent.
You are powerful.
You are love.
Smile every day and smile with your heart.
Look at yourself and believe in every beautiful thing you dream of.
We are here.
Oh, the world is ours!
The time is now.
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Helen is an Eritrean-American filmmaker and photographer with interest in international development and storytelling. She has a keen interest in working in Africa and has traveled and documented people’s everyday lives in Eritrea, Egypt, Kenya, and Nigeria. Helen’s photography has been featured in Nigeria, Kenya, South Africa, and the United States. She has a MA in Media and International Development from the University of East Anglia, the United Kingdom, and a BA degree in Film and Video from Columbia College Chicago in the United States.
